Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Life is so much better after having sex.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
