hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
