the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
