I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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