They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
