White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
