I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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