people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
