I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
