Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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