Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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