I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize