Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
