I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
