So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
