i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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