everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
