I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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