Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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