i think i have two assholes
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.