Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.