I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
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Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
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When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.