I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
