Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  her vagine was all disorganized.

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  (630): her vagine was all disorganized. http://tfl.nu/l46f
  Replies (5) Good night (695) Bad night (1372)
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  (818): View more from California

  dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.

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  (818): dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants. http://tfl.nu/6u1l
  Replies (29) Good night (1231) Bad night (5406)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.

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  (479): I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head. http://tfl.nu/p8jq
  Replies (20) Good night (1499) Bad night (4489)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar

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  (732): Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar http://tfl.nu/9kou
  Replies (39) Good night (6579) Bad night (3028)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea

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  (574): almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea http://tfl.nu/8a1h
  Replies (1) Good night (1107) Bad night (3376)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?

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  (575): Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night? http://tfl.nu/drd1
  Replies (9) Good night (3403) Bad night (779)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.

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  (702): I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat. http://tfl.nu/7ors
  Replies (13) Good night (4347) Bad night (1275)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you

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  (602): Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you http://tfl.nu/ckem
  Replies (11) Good night (2492) Bad night (800)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.

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  (612): What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains. http://tfl.nu/eu34
  Replies (5) Good night (1870) Bad night (840)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up

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  (312): I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up http://tfl.nu/9x7s
  Replies (2) Good night (1506) Bad night (1170)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  God I adore you.

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  (720): I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night. (303): God I adore you. http://tfl.nu/8nlv
  Replies (2) Good night (1305) Bad night (670)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer

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  (240): Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer http://tfl.nu/mrff
  Replies (4) Good night (1478) Bad night (694)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.

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  (412): The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked. http://tfl.nu/s0us
  Replies (10) Good night (657) Bad night (941)
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  (716): View more from New York

  What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?

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  (716): What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ? http://tfl.nu/ajxd
  Replies (27) Good night (968) Bad night (612)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???

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  (413): i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown??? http://tfl.nu/ek0c
  Replies (3) Good night (785) Bad night (482)

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