I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits