Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
