Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
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