Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
