No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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