he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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