what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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