FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
