I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
