i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
