Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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