What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
