Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
