saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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