But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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