lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
