So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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