I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
