I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
