You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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