i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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