he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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