what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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