if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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