White coat. Heels.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize