I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
