so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
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Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
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By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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