I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
