new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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