I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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