do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
there was a trapeze. enough said
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
