It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
