dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
sarcasm needs its own font
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize