Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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