Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
