My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
