6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize