so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i would one night stand the shit outta him
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
