At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
