ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
