im six kinds of drunk right now
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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