On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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