Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
