The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I will pee on everything he values.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
