SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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