My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
