his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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