i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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