i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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