Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
